morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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