Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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