i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
