Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
