the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
im six kinds of drunk right now
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize