maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
