Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
