I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
