I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
