so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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