I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
