Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize