am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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