I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
