Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
