Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize