My girlfriend figured out who you are.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
