If that was your dad, he is hot
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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