so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
