I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
