Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
