addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So apparently I’m into choking now
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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