At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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