he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
