Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
