someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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