Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize