Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
