This is the prime rib incident all over again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
