He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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