You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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