Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
