just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
