He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
