So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
