hotel room ftw
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
