I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
