I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
