you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
