she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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