I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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