god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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