At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
birth control should be required to get into college
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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