So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
