is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize