my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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