drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
