Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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