The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
this boner is exhausting
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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