im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
