so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
im on a boat
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