Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
They took my balls.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
