I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
