it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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