She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
