Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
