I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
