so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
