Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
my sisters under your porch take her home
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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