The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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