Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
