2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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