I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
